Grieving Behind the Badge

by Peggy Sweeney

The headlines report the grim news of yet another "fallen hero". The death of a law enforcement officer or firefighter who has died "in the line of duty". A dedicated professional who sacrificed his or her life that others may live or that homes and property would be saved from the unmerciful demon-fire. Most civilians half-heartedly acknowledge the event while searching for more significant information relating to their personal lives; a baseball score, stock market figures, want ads, or horoscopes. This newsworthy happening is, for them, just words on a page. Their lives will not be changed by this tragedy. But for the family and co-workers of this fallen hero, life, as they knew it, will never be the same again. Emotions run rampant and their seemingly normal lives spiral into a frightening and dark abyss where pain and loneliness and grief are constant companions. Surviving this personal tragedy is, at times, almost unbearable. How does one survive? What lessons can be learned from these experiences?

Before we can learn to cope with pain and grief, we must first understand why we feel and respond to traumatic events as we do. In any loss-divorce, loss of a friendship or job, death of a loved one, or even geographical relocation-there is grief and mourning. Grief is an individual's feelings and thoughts following a loss. Grief is the emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual responses human beings experience when their dreams and plans for life take an unexpected turn. Mourning is our outward expression, like crying, to these feelings. For example, even a small loss experience, such as, a rained-out ballgame or a broken promise, can cause grief. We are sadden, angry, or disappointed at the outcome. We, unwillingly at times, must surrender control of a situation to unforeseen circumstances or to another person. Grief and mourning are normal, healthy responses. Every one of us journeys through grief in our own way and on our own time schedule. To expect anything different, is an impossibility.

When someone dies, our response to this loss is equal to our relationship with this person. The stronger the emotional bond, the more intense the grief reactions. To illustrate, the death of a mere acquaintance pales in comparison to the death of a much loved family member, friend, or co-worker. In addition, the manner of death (sudden or anticipated) and personal life stresses will also influence our grieving.

When someone dies suddenly-auto accident, heart attack, line of duty death-we experience immediate grief. There is no chance for us to say good-bye, make amends for past indiscretions, or tell the deceased the depth of our love. In contrast, when a loved one dies from a long-term illness or injury (anticipated death) we may have had the opportunity to prepare for the loss. This is not to say that we will not grieve following an anticipated death, but rather that our length of grieving and the extent of our pain may be lessened somewhat because we have expressed our thoughts and vocalized our love, and have helped the one who is dying accept their death and put closure to their life.

Furthermore, our grief process may be complicated by various everyday problems like job-related stress, personal health issues, financial worries, caring for an invalid parent, or coping with a troubling youth. These distractions can influence our ability to focus on our grieving causing us to delay or even suppress the grieving process.

Healing grief is not an easy task. Your grief journey is like a roller coaster ride. Just when you think you are doing better, something-a song, a memory, a special holiday-will plunge you into despair. Rejoice in the good moments and days you have; they will help you survive the more painful and lonely ones. Surviving a loss takes a very long time; many months or even years. Get plenty of rest, eat healthy, exercise. Keeping a journal of your thoughts and experiences will aid you in realizing your progress in healing and your reinvestments in life and living. It's ok to cry; this is not a sign of weakness. You are not going crazy, you are very normal. Reading is another good source of learning and healing. Several good books on grief include:

� Don't Take My Grief Away by Doug Manning

� Widowed by Dr. Joyce Brothers

� The Bereaved Parent by Harriett Sarnoff-Schiff

� When Parents Die by Edward P. Myers

Do children grieve? Many people believe that children are resilient and because they appear to continue their normal behaviors-playing, wanting to be with their peers, or even misbehaving-this person's death has not made an impact on their lives. Do not be deceived. Children, even as young as toddlers, are affected and do grieve. It is important to continue their normal routine as much as possible. They will need even more tender, loving care. Although it may seem that they are adjusting to life after the funeral, it is imperative to keep the lines of communication open. Do not be afraid to share your feelings and frustrations with them. Don't shy away from talking about the deceased person or asking the child how they are feeling. Be aware of adolescents and teens who may experiment with drugs or alcohol as a means of coping with their grief and emotional pain. A family that has suffered the devastation of loss must not be afraid to reach out and help one another.

Last, but certainly not forgotten, is the grief and pain felt by the officer's or firefighter's other "family"; the men and women who worked side-by-side with those who died. They experience a grief which few civilians truly understand. A line of duty death impacts the agency or department to its very core. The traumatic event may cause nightmares, anxiety, anger or guilt. It is important that these survivors are provided an outlet to express their feelings, preferably a debriefing or regular support group meetings. Suppressing grief may cause them to doubt their self-worth as a community servant or, worse yet, question whether anyone appreciates the risks they take and the need they have to be the professional they are.

There are many lessons to be learned on the journey through grief. Our lives are like a tapestry woven over time with events and memories of people who have touched our lives. Some tapestries are simple, while others are intricate and sewn with many colors; each a unique masterpiece. The tapestry you continue to weave will reflect your individual pain and sadness, loneliness and longing, love and memories.

This special hero has touched many lives and in their living and dying they have shared their gifts and talents and have taught us the value of life. Focus on the positive aspects of their life. Take these memories and become a more warm, loving, and caring person. Reach out to those less fortunate or who may be hurting emotionally and share with them all you have learned from your grief experience. By reinvesting in life and sharing love with others, you will honor this hero who made the ultimate sacrifice. In so doing, they will never be forgotten.

Peggy is founder and president of HUGS (How to Understand Grief Seminars) Training, a former volunteer firefighter and a licensed mortician. She facilitates workshops on loss and trauma for professionals and families. Grieving Behind the Badge is a training program she has designed specifically for emergency response professionals. Peggy is also the founder of Halo of Love, a support group for bereaved parents, and CHAT (Children Healing After Trauma), an educational program for children, school resource officers, and teachers. You may contact her through her website a: http://www.hugstraining.com

Chaplain's Note - This article was used with the permission of (actually, the blessing of...she sent it to me! heheh)Peggy Sweeney

Firefighters at Risk

The Negative Effects of Stress and Trauma on the Human Spirit

Excerpt from a research paper entitled “A Proposed Program to Support the Emotional Wellness of Firefighters”

Peggy (HUGS) Sweeney

Editor’s note: The term firefighter in this article means professionals trained in fire suppression and rescue as well as pre-hospital care (first responders, emergency medical technicians, and paramedics). The terms firefighter, emergency response professional, and emergency service worker are interchangeable.

Today, in the United States, what were once considered safe environments are now more like battlegrounds. No longer are schools, homes, places of business, or even churches safe from violent acts of aggression. Moreover, our society is witnessing an alarming increase in homicides, rapes, domestic violence, child abuse, and highway injuries and deaths. The aftermath of these traumatic events is having a devastating and unfavorable reaction on everyone, especially emergency response professionals; the men and women who serve their communities as firefighters and pre-hospital caregivers. Their daily experiences with life-threatening and highly stressful events are affecting them physically, mentally, and emotionally. The constant exposure to life-threatening and traumatic events can lead to chronic (long-term) stress which, in turn, can result in high blood pressure and an increased susceptibility to heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA, 1995) states that chronic stress may also cause “psychological problems including depression, withdrawal, apathy, and relationship problems in general.” Divorce, substance abuse, and heart attack rates in these professions are among the highest in the nation. The lack of support and compassion by citizens, government agencies, and business officials for the risks these professionals endure and the occasional negative editorial coverage by the news media also adds to their anxiety level. Furthermore, the short- and long-term aftermath of stress on the job can eventually increase workers’ compensation costs, medical and mental health premiums, and death benefit payments. Finally, the International Association of Fire Chiefs’ Foundation (IAFCF, 1991) has stated that "Stress is one of the most serious occupational hazards in the fire service, affecting health, job performance, career decision-making, morale and family life. Emotional problems, as well as problems with alcohol and drugs, are becoming increasingly evident. High rates of attrition, divorce, occupational disease, and injury continue… [and] suicide is a real and tragic alternative for some."

No longer do firefighters just fight fires. With the advancement of fire prevention technology, such as flame-retardant building materials, smoke detectors, and sprinkler systems, fire departments are responding to fewer and fewer fire calls than ever before. However, these same fire departments are now receiving more and more non-fire emergency calls. For example, “In 1997, there were over 10 million emergency medical calls made to fire departments in the United States” (Clark & Zak, 1999). As a result of the high volume of non-fire emergency calls, firefighters are usually first on the scene of accidents, suicides, homicides, and other acts of violence (assault and battery, rapes, bombings, school shootings, etc.). Emergency service workers respond to floods, earthquakes, and airline crashes where the death toll and property destruction is overwhelming. They care for victims of domestic violence and child abuse. Firefighters extricate mangled bodies from motorized vehicles and provide medical assistance to homeless patients on the streets of inner cities. They comfort parents and family members when a child or loved one has died. At times, they must physically restrain patients who are combative due to mind-altering drugs. Clark & Zak (1999) state that firefighters and emergency service professionals “are more likely than other workers to die violently—from gunshots, vehicle accidents, and fire-related incidents. Their risk of suffering a fatal incident is three times greater than for all workers.” Patients under the influence of narcotics or alcohol, family members of the victim, or bystanders may threaten them with knives, guns, or physical assault. They are constantly exposed to the dangers of communicable diseases such as Hepatitis and AIDS. And all too often, these men and women must cope with grief following the death of a fellow firefighter in the line of duty. The constant, day-to-day exposure to numerous tragic events has resulted in an increase of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) among emergency service workers. The “rate for diagnosable PTSD among firefighters was 16.5 percent, compared to a one percent to three percent rate for the general population” (DeAngelis, 1995, p.36).

In addition to the life-threatening and job-related stress they encounter in their professional lives, firefighters must also cope with an array of personal and family issues as well. These factors may include, but are not limited to, a child with special needs, the death of a loved one, “aging or invalid family members, terminal illness, divorce, and the daily demands of raising a family” (SAMHSA, 1995). Also, "The dangers of the job create anxiety in the firefighter's family" (Martin, 1981, p.2). Many of these emergency service workers feel that their loved ones and friends do not understand the magnitude of their duties nor the emotional strain they must endure on a daily basis. The International Association of Fire Chiefs’ Foundation (1991) states that firefighters "want to protect loved ones from what happened [on the job]." Moreover, a firefighter's spouse must cope with the constant stress, sacrifice, and frustration of "living with the worry of having their husbands [or wives] constantly walking into the jaws of danger" (Burns, 1998). Even with the constant exposure to life-threatening situations and the multitude of mentally and emotionally challenging emergency calls, most firefighters are very reluctant to discuss the death, carnage, and human suffering they witness on the job with their family and friends. Ultimately, emergency service professionals struggle with thoughts of inadequacy as a spouse, parent, or social friend.

Traumatic events, including mass casualties, injury or death of children, life-threatening situations, or a line of duty death, have a profound impact on the mental and physical health of firefighters. Without coping skills, emergency service professionals can experience unhealthy side effects, such as stress, high blood pressure, and depression, as well as disabling illness including heart attacks, substance abuse, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Personal life issues, such as divorce, long-term illness or death of a family member, etc., can have a negative effect on them as well. Although research has shown that there are some resources available for firefighters and their families to cope with stress, there is a need, as well, to have a training program that will provide information on grief, suicide and addiction prevention, and promoting emotional wellness for everyone. The International Association of Fire Chiefs' Foundation (1991) states that "continuing education and training within fire departments are favored by many as tools for alleviating stress." Furthermore, "Specific training in dealing with death, crisis and suicide are needed, and orientation programs may help recruits better prepare for the physical and psychological rigors of their new profession."

Floren (1984, p.43) suggests that there is a "strong need to provide a more humanistic approach in the training of emergency [service] personnel." Also, "we need to learn more about death and dying, the stages of grief, what to expect from a suddenly bereaved family and how we may most helpfully interact with family members." Furthermore, emergency service workers must be able to talk about the pressures involved in traumatic situations, to understand what others have experienced in similar situations, and know that they are not alone in their feelings. Floren continues, “Our training should emphasize the need for supportiveness and free expression of feelings… in stressful situations to help prevent serious problems. We need to be prepared for the internal conflicts that may surround a patient's death and know how our self-image may seem threatened by that event.”

If fire departments and organizations want to reduce the number of lives that are lost from physical illness, substance abuse, and suicide in the fire service, then they must provide firefighters with help and coping skills. Training them to deal with trauma, stress, and grief is no less important then training them to be safe on the fire ground. No longer can job-related stress in the fire service be ignored. It is the duty and responsibility of every fire service officer to provide for and enhance the emotional wellness of his or her department. Without the support and dedication of everyone, stress and grief will continue to take a toll on firefighters and their families.

The emotional wellness of firefighters is at risk. Stress and grief are problems that are not easily detected or easily resolved. Severe depression, heart attacks, and the high rates of divorce, addiction, and suicide in the fire service prove this. Although every firefighter is provided with turnout gear, uniforms, and a badge that is proudly worn over their heart, none of these material items protect them from the ravages of emotional trauma. They are not robots. They are human beings. The need to be nourished and refreshed both physically and mentally is not a sign of weakness or apathy. Every effort must be made to save not only the lives of firefighters, but their emotional health as well.

There has been a call to action and HUGS Training has answered that call. HUGS Training is the solution to these problems. The Grieving Behind the Badge training program is proven to address these problems and to help resolve them for the men and women in the fire service family. Grieving Behind the Badge should be made available to all firefighters, their families, recruits, and fire department chaplains.

References

American Psychological Association. (1997). Stress: How and when to get help. Washington, D.C.: Author.

City of Los Angeles Fire Department. 2000. Annual report: Fiscal year 1998-1999. Author: Operations Control Division.

Clarke, C. & Zak, M. (1999). Fatalities to law enforcement officers and firefighters, 1992-97. Washington, D.C.: United State Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics.

DeAngelis, (1995, February). Firefighters' PTSD at dangerous levels. Monitor, pp. 36-37.

Floren, T. (1984, March/April). Impact of death and dying on emergency care personnel. Emergency Medical Services, 13 (2), pp.43-47.

International Association of Fire Chiefs Foundation. (1991). Stress management: Model program for maintaining firefighter well-being. Washington, D.C.: Federal Emergency Management Agency and The U.S. Fire Administration.

Martin, S. (June, 1981). Stress and the fire service. The Minnesota Fire Chief, Vol. 47(6),

Smith, J. (2000, July 30). Stress study finds overwork hampers paramedics’ decision, care [20 paragraphs]. Dailynews.com [On-line serial]. Available FTP: Hostname: dailynews.com Directory: archives/2000/07/30/new01.asp

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (1995). Disaster work and mental health: Prevention and control of stress among workers. Washington, D.C.: Author.

Peggy Sweeney, founder and president of HUGS Training (How to Understand Grief Seminars), is currently an EMT student and formerly a mortician and volunteer firefighter. She has developed and facilitated numerous workshops on coping with grief and stress for professionals and families and has reached out to her community by way of support groups for bereaved parents and children. She offers help to emergency response and public safety personnel through her Grieving Behind the Badge training program You may contact Peggy at peggysweeney@qcinet.net